I am your brother Joseph! Come closer to me. Genesis 45:3-11,15

Today’s readings are about RECONCILIATION and the way we can restore TRUE COMMUNITY. Even though he had been harshly discarded by his brothers, Joseph welcomed his brothers back and provided for them. Joseph knew that true community is about inviting in rather than keeping out. It’s about welcoming back rather than wallowing in a state of alienation. But neither reconciliation nor true community are easy things to achieve. One needs to develop a quality both Joseph and Jesus exhibited: What I call HOLY TOLERANCE. Not that reluctant tolerance we all have sometimes. “Oh I guess I’ll just have to put up with him,” we say and continue with a negative attitude. And definitely not the wimpy tolerance in which we give up our convictions. Tolerance is holy when there is love in it, when it opens us to reconciliation and community, when, as it says in Galatians, we “bear one another’s burdens.” 

An Anglican priest was welcomed into our Roman Catholic Seminary. He had decided to transition from the Anglican to the Roman Catholic Church. As we used to say lightheartedly he was crossing the English channel from Canterbury (all things Anglican) to Rome (all things Roman Catholic). He seemed lost and uncomfortable in this new Catholic setting. So I took him under my wing and we became good friends. He became an archbishop and was even appointed to an international body that has worked for years for Anglican/Roman Catholic Unity. Our friendship was fractured when I decided to cross the English channel in the opposite direction, from Rome to Canterbury. I sent him a letter sharing my joy, and a copy of the invitation to my Reception into the Episcopal priesthood. I knew he would not be able to attend but I looked forward to a congratulatory letter sharing my joy. It never came.

Weeks later I received a horrible letter in which he expressed not joy but his great disappointment in me, and he lectured me on what a mistake I had made. I was flabbergasted and, not knowing how to reply, simply did not. Many years went by and on a visit to South Africa mutual friends of his and mine said you should contact him. You know he thinks the world of you. They knew about the horrible letter and the fracture in our relationship but still thought I should take the high road and reach out to him now in his retirement. I just couldn’t do it. I was not like Joseph who reached out to his brothers and said “I am your brother Joseph!” I was unable to reach out and say “I am your brother Peter!” I said if he thinks the world of me and values our long friendship then he should reach out to me. I wasn’t hopeful of that.

But some months later I got a wonderful surprise. A lovely email in which he not only apologized for his horrible dogmatic letter but greatly regretted the rift it had caused in our friendship. I hurried to reply with a very positive letter and our friendship resumed. Reconciliation and the joy of reconciliation at last. But how sad the loss of those years of friendship! I wish I had been able to dig down deep in my heart and respond much earlier with some holy tolerance. Something like: “Thanks for your letter. I did not realize my decision would be a great disappointment to you and cause you pain. I am sorry about that. But let’s not allow this to interfere with our friendship.”

I guess I took the low road instead of the high road and I don’t feel good about that. But maybe you can empathize. As priest and therapist I have often been called to journey with those stuck in a state of alienation where reconciliation has seemed impossible. Where they found it hard to take that very important first step. If any of this reminds you of a situation in your own life I urge you to take that first step in love! It’s what we are called to do.

True community, authentic community is also not easy to achieve. The beloved community takes work. And we don’t always want to put in the work.

My first assignment as a priest was to teach in a Catholic School during the week and serve rural mission outstations on the weekends. It was somewhat exhausting and I must say I looked forward to the occasions when I could just chill in what was called the “community” room. Hoping that not a single demand would be made on me for the rest of the day. Ever feel like that?! I’m sure you have. Anyway. Murphy’s Law. It seemed like every time I hit the community room for some quiet music, maybe some reading, maybe some nodding off for a while, another priest arrived whose idea of chilling was to yap and yap. Definitely not a match made in heaven! Community can be difficult. OK enough of my stories. But I sure hope you can relate in some way!

But the right kind of community is urgently needed right now and to work towards it is certainly part of our calling as Christians. The initiative for community building is being wrested away from us. Fear and dishonesty are used to build a very different kind of community, if you can even call it community.  A community of fear and separation. Fear breeds distance rather than the closeness a community needs. Fear separates. 

We have a great opportunity here to recognize the amazing parallels between what we are living through in our time and what Jesus lived through in his. We, like Jesus, are facing the threat of Empire building. The powerful Roman state was riding roughshod over people’s lives to increase its power and dominance and extend its empire. The frightened religious authorities sometimes caved to the Romans because they were afraid of losing their own safety and their status. And the poor peasants of whom Jesus was one, were those who suffered the most under this oppressive system. Jesus formed a movement to peacefully and yet firmly go against that empire. That’s why he kept referring to a very different kind of system: God’s kingdom of love and justice and peace. We face a similar threat in our own time. Sometimes empire-building is external: trying to expand one’s power by taking over the world like the Romans did. Sometimes it is internal: taking over the legitimate organs of change and power, and using them illegitimately. We must look to Jesus for the answer, for the most appropriate form of resistance. That answer is contained in his great generosity of spirit and holy tolerance. The kind of tolerance that opens us up to the next step: LOVE. Yes, for that we must look to Jesus.

Jesus was a product of his culture but he didn’t get stuck in it.

He was a product of his religion but he criticized it when necessary.

Jesus cherished Jewish history, learned from it but also looked joyfully to a better future.

He had firm convictions but he didn’t force them on others.

Jesus respected those he disagreed with and showed great tolerance.

He did not give up when people were deaf to his message. He persevered.

Jesus lived out his beliefs by caring and loving and healing.

In spite of setbacks he trusted and lived in joy. 

Ultimately he showed us not only how to live but how to die with love and trust in our hearts.

Jesus was the epitome of the HOLY TOLERANCE that leads to reconciliation, love and authentic community.

Let’s try to follow Jesus in freeing ourselves from all that keeps us wrapped up and stuck in ourselves. Even stuck in our communities sometimes when they are too turned in upon themselves. We can value our history and heritage without being blind to those of our neighbor. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a helpful quote I came across from a renowned religious studies professor in New Zealand: “It is the person who treats human existence as trivial or meaningless, who is non-religious. The sincere and concerned atheist is more religious than the half-hearted theist or purely nominal Christian.” (Lloyd Geering in Christian Faith at the Crossroads.) Does that shock you? It actually makes me think. It frees me up to be more open and tolerant. As a social worker I have worked side by side with many people who are non-believers but they take life and caring for others incredibly seriously. They are generous and dedicated and loving. There are atheists all around us these days. Most of them, I am convinced, do not treat life as trivial. They find meaning, often very deep and noble meaning, in a different way than we do. If our first move is to open our hearts in love rather than assume the worst in another person, then we are developing holy tolerance. 

“I am your brother Joseph. Come closer.”

Trinity Cathedral Trenton 2/23/2025